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July 14, 2010
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The stocky general's helm clattered to the ground as he tripped, rushing to the throne room.
'The castle is under seige, my lord!' shouted Friedrich, adjusting his armour.
As he faced his fearless overlord he became aware of something stirring in his loins. He did not dare investigate; to look away from Lord Nippleeyes is to face certain death2 (death2 is like death but worse somehow).
'I know, general Friedrich von Boobenheim. Are my men not dealing with the situation in accordance with article 24 of the Torse Code?' (the Torse Code is a book written by Lord Nippleeyes himself- an impressive feat, considering he is a floating torso with a cape nailed on- that detail the law of the land as Nippleeyes decrees).
Nippleyees watched carefully as Friedrich's gaze began to falter.
'Am I to understand that our men have not dealt with the situation already?' spake the leader, his eldritch voice becoming more abominabysmal with each subsequent syllable. Nippleeyes floated to the castle window as Friedrich von Boobenheim was set alight. Looking over his kingdom (which was very little at this point, given the status of his small area of land- that is to say, its non-existance in the corporeal realm) he saw that ghost SPESS MEHRENS were shooting their bazookoids and lazrs at both his stone and anal walls. The lazrs had no effect, of course, as everyone knows stone is the strongest material in the world except for bazookoids. The silly SPESS MEHRENS should have known better.

Meanwhile, the next day, the ghost SPESS MEHREN leader, Mr R. U. Attacques, was singing the ghost SPESS MEHREN national anthem in order to control and inspire his men. The lyrics, as far as I am aware, go like this:

Open your eyes I see
Your eyes are open
Wear no disguise for me
Come into the open

When it's cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame

Always, I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony, harmony oh love

Melting the ice for me
Jump into the ocean
Hold back the tide I see
Your love in motion

When it's cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame

but i might be wrong.

his warriors were infinitely stronger and more lazr efficient after this and their lazrs could break through the stones and anus of the castle walls.

'FORWARD, MENS!' shouted the ghost SPESS MEHREN leader and his army of ghost SPESS MEHREN SPESS MEHREN ghosts surged into Lord Nippleeyes' anal walls.

Lord Nippleeyes came, sweating and panting, into the living room of his castle and hovered for all to see.
'You have defiled this place with your large weapons and horrible stench. If you want to fight me then do so now but be warned for you shall not escape woith your lifes.' he declared.
'You mean "with your lives"?' corrected Mr Attacques.
'Yes that too. NOW FEEL THE WRATH OF death2, BOTCHES.' shouted Nippleeyes and started rotating like some kind of rotisserie equine.
'You mean "BITCHES"?' said another ghost SPESS MEHREN but he was already on fire.

Suddenly the kitchen door burst open and there hovered an alternative torso with a dressing gown nailed into her shoulders and eyes on the end of her boobies and her vagina was a mouth with sharp pointy teeth.
'MOTHER, GO BACK TO BED' shouted Nippleeyes
'Jenkins, you are being TOO LOUD again! What's all this mess? Are you in one little fight?! I'M SCARED. Go to your room and pack your bags, you're moving in with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air' shouted his mother, Betty Stoggs Nippleeyes.

The ghost SPESS MEHRENS started providing backing music and lazr light shows while Jenkins Nippleeyes started to sing as he did all the stuff he's singing about:

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say is that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Man forget it' - 'Yo home to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked to my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Lord of Bel Air

and everyone was happy because his mum didn't have ghost SPESS MEHRENS making a mess all the time and Lord Nippleeyes could rule over Bel Air which was a bit bigger than his floating fortress in the void.
The end.
this is a true story i put it in ficton becaus yopu probably wont belive that ist true.
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:icontwistedteeth:
TwistedTeeth Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh. Mygod.
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:iconkaolincash:
kaolincash Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011
yes
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:icontwistedteeth:
TwistedTeeth Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Best. I demand more.
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:iconkaolincash:
kaolincash Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
always
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:iconbearcategg:
BearCatEgg Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2010   Writer
you are a weirdo.
:heart:
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:iconkaolincash:
kaolincash Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2010
<3
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:iconmrsdino:
Mrsdino Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2010
Hahahaha! :D
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:iconkaolincash:
kaolincash Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2010
:D
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:iconbio-mechanic:
bio-mechanic Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I CANNOT BREATHE I AM LAUGHING SO HARD.
Lord NE applauds you with his... cape? idk.
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:iconkaolincash:
kaolincash Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2010
HELP I AM CANNOT BREATH
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